hereiam

<3 halloween.

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 17:08:54 GMT

i wish it didnt take me so much effort
to hear harmonies.

but, im better at it than i used to be.
and that makes me happy i guess.

seeing that i never pursued music anyway.

____________________________________________

i could count
the ppl who fuck w/my head,
on my hand

but isnt that still too many?

maybe it Is me.
_______________________________________

omg a normal message for ONCE on this thing:

im making my leg warmers today!!!!

$30 to my name + trip to walmart + WOOHOO HALLOWEEN COMING!! = my legwarmers, the process beginning. goodness gracious this is going to be a fucking HOT costume.

(brushes shoulders off.)

_________________________

btw wTF am i doing fri and sat nites?

megan and megan and me.

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 05:54:07 GMT

We're gonna start a band,
and you're gonna play the guitar-
and im going to sing.

better than ive ever sung before,
bc i FEEL my music when im with you,
bc i love you like whoa,
and,

we could be famous, i mean,
if u want.
=)

sometimes i really hate the rain
and
sometimes i really hate what this is
and what i am
and what that means

i wonder if id ever be able to calm down my add enough to write a song?
it might be about Everything, all in one song, if i couldnt calm it...

what is a best friend
are they forever
or right now
is anything forever?
define forever

Right Now.
if i care about you right now
is that enough
if i could move the world for you
right now
is that enough
if its all there is
it must be

bc intensity can only be defined-
moment by moment.
as it changes, as it evolves
This is right Now.
This is me. my Heart.

when i hug you, i feel safe. i FEEL love.
when i dance w/u, i am away from everything i can't handle-
i am Right There Right Now- in THat moment, you see my spirit,
i am the core of who i am
when ur there
and,
that is so refreShing...

meliss you know u can call me if you need me.
i'll come pick you up bc otherwise you'll never get out of bed-
and buy you lunch b/c you're piss broke-
fix your computer, and suprise u w/the pErfect song at the Perfect time-
and help you determine if you "run about or climb excessively in situations in which it is inappropriate.." bc ur too distracted to Decide on your own-

i make the BEST taylor ham sandwiches
and i beat you up. i esp. like to make u hit yourself bc its so funny. im an ass.
and make you hate me, at least once a day-
but only enough to relaly make you realize
what you have , in this
and how thankful you are for it.
(but when i say i hate you i DO mean it.)
she's a shithead and you deserve better.
you're sick? don't cry, i'll drive you home.
(when i say i love you, i mean that too)

whoever finds you will be SO LUCKY melissa

people tell me that
but i will worry about that when it rolls around...
Right Now;
my Plethora of Megans
keep me sane-

and have, the grand majority of my heart.

its a Big heart ; ive been told,
hope it serves you well.

its a nice day. i have a cold.

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 19:15:25 GMT

its as if breathing in today's air
can dissipate all the phlegm in my throat.
all the darkness floating around in my body.

apple picking in september
in the mud
riding through the dormant fields
towards the setting sun

and the wind
crisp and harsh against my face
the new vest i bought on sale last year
and muck boots up to my knees

what is this
where is this
so much in between
between here and there
this and then
what is this
where is then

ages. ages ago

sweet melissa
______________________________________________________

i say a lot when i drink
i say a lot
i do a lot
i Am a lot

this isnt ok
what is this
what is okay
define okay
define definition

my obsession w/definitions is only
my obsession w/trying to understand myself
and this.
and it will be the root of my insanity.
or is it, already?

i am focused, driven by will power, and
respectful of others' sexual orientation.

but still know
that i meant every word
of what i said

you drive me insane, that is.
_____________________________________________________

and that sometimes you strike me
with what you are
and
god help me not fall where i stand
____________________________________________________
and i dont care to think about what that means.

______________________________________________
she looked over at me, put on a 5 star smile-
"i love you and i never ever want to be without you"

except for those 4 months, i mean, of course.
except for when you got royally fucked over
and i was content to just watch.
except for when you were all by yourself
and needed me
and i wouldnt even answer your calls.
except for when, i finally let you realize,
that i was never your sister at all.
i was just playing a part.
like i am right now.
im not happy melissa.
i'm depressed too.

well isn't that unfortunate. join the fucking club.
oh wait- the club requires commitment that isnt a joke.
guess you'll have to deal with that on your own.

rainy night

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 17:50:23 GMT

miss has a blowdryer
now my hairgoo has more Umph
and that makes me happy
unless its raining

straight or crazy
define crazy
define straight, even

crazy- coo-coo.
is it clarified?

she'll be very nice to you tho;
and string you along.

and make u melt when she walks through the door
and make u so nervous, that you'd never be able to go talk to her,
not for the 4 months you've known she exists. no matter how drunk.

please now.
what ever is the point of knowing what your 'type' is,
when that just means its the woman so beauitful-
you cant even be in the same room w/o a knot in your stomach.

what good does that do someone.
none.

when its good its amazing.
even my Daydreams of it being good,
are amazing.
in my daydreams she wouldn't string me along-

no;
in my daydreams, she's not crazy or straight.
she's so intensely amazing.

_________________________________________________________________

you're having concentration issues?
you're gay?
you're carrying 5 credits?
you're behind on paying the parking tickets?
you're post-due for your MMR?
you're unemployed?
you're broke?
you're in debt?

potential is such an ugly word.
i am always 10 minutes early,
over-prepared, and i always print out the directions.

_____________________________________________________

i am not heart broken.
i was strong enough.

at least i'm not straight or crazy.
_____________________________________________________

spend all night
losing sleep
id spend the night and id lose my mind...